Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
