It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
