I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
