Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
