Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize