i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My dick has a subreddit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
