yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So many bounce houses so little time
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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