I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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