I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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