Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize