Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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