This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
