He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize