you guys were way drunker than both of me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
