Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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