I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
