guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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