Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I intend to get homeless drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
