Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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