is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
