this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize