Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
