names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
