BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Let's get the cat blown out
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
