Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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