ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
