he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
