Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
