I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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