you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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