After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
