I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
