if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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