you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
