I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
