Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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