Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
