I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
