I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize