Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
