your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
