Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
