it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
