either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
