She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
