she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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