i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
