i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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