She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
