she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
