Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
People with herpes should wear stickers.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
