What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
