Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize