mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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