Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
