your room smells of hookers.
And success
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
