i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
