so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
