Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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