Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
