so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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