i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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