At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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